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Pillar 01 · Who We Are
Who we are: the first question.
Every family is being shaped by something. The question is whether we have actually named what is shaping ours.
Kendra Sobomehin · 7 min read
Read the essay →Building a family is the most importantwork most of us will ever do.We treat it that way.
For two parents running a complex household together.
The Two Timescales
Today's mess. Tomorrow's house.
Most family writing picks one. The Tuesday-at-5:47 problem, or the generational arc. We hold both. Some of the work here is about the week in front of you. Some of it is about the house your grandkids will inherit. Both belong in the same conversation. A home that runs on Tuesday and a home that lasts across generations are the same project at two different scales.
The Work
What you get here.
This is a place to learn how to actually run your home. Not a feed. Not a content stream. A real curriculum for the work most of us were never taught.
Writing
Honest writing, conversations, and video on what we've figured out, what we've gotten wrong, and what we're still working on. Essays every Sunday. Podcast every other Sunday, starting summer 2026. Video coming.
The Framework
Twelve pillars. The whole map of family life, in one place. The areas every family has to figure out, whether you've named them or not. Free to anyone who wants it.
See the framework →The Assessment
Sixty questions. Twelve pillars. Eight family types. Twenty diagnostic patterns. About thirty minutes. The result tells you where your family is strong, where it's thin, and what kind of family you're building.
Take the assessment →Why This
Most of us are doing the most important job we'll ever have without a manual.
Think about it. There's onboarding for your job. There's training for your driver's license. There are courses for the side project you took up last summer. There is almost nothing for the actual house you live in.
So most of us figure it out by improvising. We borrow what worked from our parents. We borrow what worked from the family next door. We borrow from the internet. Then we wonder why our house feels like it's running us instead of the other way around.
That is not a moral failure. Nobody put us up on game. Most of us are running on inheritance plus instinct, and inheritance plus instinct is not a system.
This site is the part of the work that lives in writing, conversation, and video. Trellis is the part that lives in your week. Both of them exist for one reason. Building a family that you are actually proud of is real work, and real work deserves real tools.
The PeopleRead our story →
Two parents. Three kids. The work came from our Sunday nights.
Friends kept asking how we run our house. So we wrote it down. Then we started recording it. Then we realized we needed the record for ourselves too. This is that record.
Remi has been a founder and nonprofit CEO for a decade. Kendra has a PhD in Education from Stanford. We have three kids. We sit down every Sunday and we work on this in real life before we publish anything about it.
The Assessment
What kind of family are you?
Sixty questions. About thirty minutes. Built from two years of writing, recording, and a whole lot of arguing about what actually matters in a household.
At the end you get three things. A read on every pillar of family life and where yours is strong or thin. A name for the kind of family you're building. The patterns that the combination of your scores usually points to. We surface what most families know but don't say out loud.
It is honest. Not flattering. The whole point is to tell you the truth so you can decide what to do with it.
Take the assessment →
Free. No login. About thirty minutes.
The Framework
The twelve pillars every family runs on, whether they've named them or not.
Two years of Sunday nights, written down. The areas a family has to figure out one way or another. Identity, self and soul, marriage, kids, time, money, the home, health, your people, work, legacy, and the year nothing goes right.
Free. Read them in any order. Come back when your house is on a different question.
The PodcastThe
House
We BuiltComing Summer 2026
House
We BuiltComing Summer 2026
The Podcast
The conversation behind the writing.
New episode every other Sunday. We talk about what we're working on in our own house and what we're hearing from yours. Recorded at the kitchen table because that's where most of this actually happens.
Coming Summer 2026.
Video
Some of this is easier to show than to write.
Short videos on the parts of the work that are easier to show than to write. Family meeting walkthroughs. Conversations between us at the kitchen table. What the family meeting actually looks like. What a real Sunday night feels like.
Coming soon.
VideoComing
soon
soon
The Tool
The framework gives you the map. Trellis is where the work happens.
If this lines up, Trellis is where you put it into practice. Twelve pillars, but now in your week. Family meeting on Sunday night. Cy keeping watch in between. The system we use in our own house, built so other families can use it too.
Visit Trellis →One Pillar a Week
Every Sunday. From our house to yours.
We pick one pillar of the framework, walk through what we're thinking about, and give you something to try.